Friday, January 4, 2019


I don't remember the last time I had a dream that wasn't obviously pleasant or unpleasant but had elements of both.

Last night, I saw someone in my dream that I haven't spoken to or seen in years. At this point, I don't even know how long it has been. We were at a crowded train station in an unknown city. We both had different trains to catch and we dreaded saying goodbye. We kept looking at the train arrival timer and watching it approach 0. Upon reaching 0, we would have a long embrace and get emotional because we knew we would never see each other again.

What made this dream especially draining was the timer being reset because the train was delayed.  As a result, we said goodbye to each other multiple times, each time feeling more intense than the previous one. The dream ended when the train finally did arrive.  She whispered I Love You during our final embrace but I couldn't do the same.

It felt bittersweet to vividly see someone I haven't seen in years but having to say goodbye to them almost immediately. I woke up with no energy or motivation left to do anything else. I wanted to stay in bed the whole day.

I have no idea why we dream about people we haven't seen in years. Maybe because I very recently stumbled upon a drawing of her while I was looking through my older work.



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Hark Triton, hark! Bellow, bid our father the Sea King rise from the depths full foul in his fury! Black waves teeming with salt foam to smother this young mouth with pungent slime, to choke ye, engorging your organs til' ye turn blue and bloated with bilge and brine and can scream no more - only when he, crowned in cockle shells with slitherin' tentacle tail and steaming beard take up his fell be-finned arm, his coral-tine trident screeches banshee-like in the tempest and plunges right through yer gullet, bursting ye - a bulging bladder no more, but a blasted bloody film now and nothing for the harpies and the souls of dead sailors to peck and claw and feed upon only to be lapped up and swallowed by the infinite waters of the Dread Emperor himself - forgotten to any man, to any time, forgotten to any god or devil, forgotten even to the sea, for any stuff for part of Winslow, even any scantling of your soul is Winslow no more, but is now itself the sea!

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The beginning is perhaps more difficult than anything else, but keep heart, it will turn out all right. -Vincent van Gogh