For the past 4-5 weeks, I have been going hiking with a buddy of mine. I send him a text in the middle of the week about which hike I am doing, he confirms, and I meet up with him on Saturdays and we're off. This week, he never responded and I went alone.
To be honest, I am somewhat hurt and feel a bit abandoned. It's funny, if this involved a female friend or a girlfriend, I would have no qualms being upfront with my emotions and telling her I am hurt. I would expect some kind of explanation.
But when the situation involves a male friend, the dynamics around "emotional" issues are just so... stupid. That's the best way I can describe it. It's downright idiotic. Whenever I have tried to raise an "emotional" topic with a male friend, it has backfired. I have felt like a "little bitch" and the male friend has felt uncomfortable and did not want to talk about it. The friendship usually suffered after that point and things became awkward. Due to repeated experiences of this sort, I have unfortunately learned to not raise emotional issues with guy friends.
So, this blog post is my only outlet. I know that my friend will never stumble upon this blog randomly and he will never see this. Still, it feels at least slightly therapeutic to write this out and have some kind of outlet for the feelings.
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Hark Triton, hark! Bellow, bid our father the Sea King rise from the depths full foul in his fury! Black waves teeming with salt foam to smother this young mouth with pungent slime, to choke ye, engorging your organs til' ye turn blue and bloated with bilge and brine and can scream no more - only when he, crowned in cockle shells with slitherin' tentacle tail and steaming beard take up his fell be-finned arm, his coral-tine trident screeches banshee-like in the tempest and plunges right through yer gullet, bursting ye - a bulging bladder no more, but a blasted bloody film now and nothing for the harpies and the souls of dead sailors to peck and claw and feed upon only to be lapped up and swallowed by the infinite waters of the Dread Emperor himself - forgotten to any man, to any time, forgotten to any god or devil, forgotten even to the sea, for any stuff for part of Winslow, even any scantling of your soul is Winslow no more, but is now itself the sea!