Thoughts and Moments

I had an interesting dream last night. I am not sure what triggered this one so I am not going to bother with trying to figure out the potential cause.

I do not recall the circumstances or the context but my dad had a central role to play. He was in some kind of emotional pain and distress. He was crying and I was hugging him. In real life, I don't recall ever hugging my dad and the only times I have seen him cry have been when one of our dogs has passed away.

My brother was there and my mother as well but I don't remember them saying anything. They were both mostly quiet and I was the one doing the talking and explaining what was happening. I don't remember much but I clearly recall uttering the phrase "No.. he must go through this. He must suffer. The emotional pain is necessary. He needs to get through this to grow and transform into a new person."

What I was saying in the dream is likely related to what I have felt in real life. Whenever I have observed close father-son relationships, I have always admired what I saw but I have also been envious because I have never felt genuinely close with my father. We are simply too different in fundamental ways and our worldviews do not match at all. I've had "what if" thoughts about my father and how maybe one day he will grow as a person and we can finally relate and have meaningful interactions. I believe that any substantial transformation of this sort would likely involve the person going through a powerful experience that would trigger notable changes. People don't just change suddenly after they have settled into their long-term patterns. It takes a truly life-changing event to shake someone off the path they are currently on.

In my dream, I assume this transformation was finally happening to my father and I was there helping him through it. At this point, I have lost any hope that my father will change into a better person but I guess my subconscious is still clinging to the idea and it manifested itself in this dream.