The Botanical Gardens at the Huntington Library

It was about time for another visit.

"It's called calm and it cost me many storms to get it."

-Unknown

Lately, I have been frustrated with my inability to truly think about myself in a more “healthy” way.  Often times, I will have a negative and unreasonably critical view of myself while at the same time I am able to realize that the thoughts themselves are irrational and unfair.  At a conscious level, I know that if I were speaking to another person and they shared the same exact thoughts about themselves, I would push back and try to make them understand how they are being unreasonable.  Yet, I cannot push back similar thoughts in myself, why?

Why do we have the ability to understand that our thoughts are irrational and this realization still seems to accomplish nothing? What use does such a realization have in practical terms? If anything, it makes the whole situation more frustrating since it makes a mockery of our supposed ability to “control” our thoughts.

To me, this is an important reminder that we shouldn’t be judgmental of others who hold unhealthy thoughts about themselves. We can’t escape the same problem in our mind.

Gardens