Monday, June 18, 2018

Reflections

After almost 4.5 years of administering the estates of lonely dead folks, I am about to start a new job in about 2 weeks time.

I had never assumed that I would be sad over leaving such a morbid occupation but now that I am actually in a situation where I am about to make this big (relatively speaking) change, I can't help but mourn what I am about to lose.

Over the course of these past few years, I had managed to become so effective at this odd job of mine (most people have no idea that the department I work at even exists... we are that obscure and work mostly in the background), that I got away with having various perks that are likely very rare among the white collar workforce. Well, I assume it's rare for anyone who is not in the programming field. If my brother's experience is any indication, those fools have immense amount of freedom since they are so sought after and employers don't want to piss them off and make them leave for positions with other companies.

I am going to miss the benefits I had carved out at this job. One such perk was having roughly 2 hours every day where I would practice drawing. In the middle of the office, with all kinds of managers constantly walking by my cubicle with direct sight of me, I would sit for at least 2 hours a day and work on various art projects. I would consistently have dozens of color pencils spread out over my work-space and constantly be working on my next art project every single work day. What are the chances that I can create such a situation at any other job? What are the chances that any employer in their right mind would tolerate such behavior from an employee whose work responsibilities have nothing to do with art?

Another bonus at this job is my garden. On the 9th floor of an office building, I had managed to get approval to convert the patio space outside into a succulent garden. I have taken care of this garden and kept it thriving for over 2 years and now I am about to leave it behind. I inevitably once again ask myself what other employer would allow an employee to create and tend a garden at a position that is not remotely related to plants and gardening?

Plants and art... these two things make me very happy and I had managed to sneak them into a job that dealt with death. I don't know if I will ever manage to achieve a similar situation again and this realization feels like an intense punch in the gut.

Onward I suppose. On to new things and all that bullshit.

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Hark Triton, hark! Bellow, bid our father the Sea King rise from the depths full foul in his fury! Black waves teeming with salt foam to smother this young mouth with pungent slime, to choke ye, engorging your organs til' ye turn blue and bloated with bilge and brine and can scream no more - only when he, crowned in cockle shells with slitherin' tentacle tail and steaming beard take up his fell be-finned arm, his coral-tine trident screeches banshee-like in the tempest and plunges right through yer gullet, bursting ye - a bulging bladder no more, but a blasted bloody film now and nothing for the harpies and the souls of dead sailors to peck and claw and feed upon only to be lapped up and swallowed by the infinite waters of the Dread Emperor himself - forgotten to any man, to any time, forgotten to any god or devil, forgotten even to the sea, for any stuff for part of Winslow, even any scantling of your soul is Winslow no more, but is now itself the sea!

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The beginning is perhaps more difficult than anything else, but keep heart, it will turn out all right. -Vincent van Gogh